"to be given a mark on their right hand or on their forehead, and he provides that no one will be able to buy or to sell, except the one who has the mark, either the name of the beast or the number of his name." - Words from a really stoned ancient guy.
In other news, Swatch has partnered with Visa to release a new watch they call "The Bellamy," named after author Edward Bellamy, known for writing a book about time and predicting the credit card. The "Bellamy" will allow you to swipe with your wrist to make smartphone payments. Perhaps Swatch should've called their new watch "The Mark of the Beast," since it's so close to the biblical prophesies regarding the end of times.
Our Futureslaver in-house A.I. ran a comparison between the watch and the prophesies and deduced that only left-handed people are at risk of soul destruction. However, the team held a Priority Level 2 meeting where it was suggested that the Christian bible could have been wrong about which hand was marked. For example, the ancient guy who was apparently observing the future and writing about it in Revelations would have seen the mark on HIS right, but that would have, in fact, been the left hand with the satanic 666 barcode NFC chip. So not only is there a chance that he made the classic mistake of not knowing the difference between HIS right and THEIR right under duress from angelic time travel, but he was probably too stoned off of some ancient killer weed or too inebriated by some really nasty drunkard ale to even know his left from right.
Go figure? Read more -- here --.
No comments:
Post a Comment