Mega Death Star Discovery

Out of this world big news, literally! A star spotted by the Kepler Telescope back in 2009 is showing signs of life. Basically, what is being observed is a pattern of diminishing and growing light coming from the star with the catchiest name in the galaxy, KIC 8462852. Apparently, according to experts the percentage of light decreasing is on a scale much greater than, say, a planet the size of Jupiter blocking out KIC 8462852's light.

Astronomers are now faced with the more likely scenario of this star being fitted with solar panels in order to harness energy. That, dear readers, is called anthropomorphism, which means we tag human attributes to things we humans don't understand. The most likely explanation for the light source is a Death Star which increases in intensity while powering up to blast a planet out of existence and decreases after the massive power surge. Futureslaver will keep close tabs on this story. Read mainstream propaganda -- here --.